Where has the Time Gone?

Truly, it doesn't feel like a year has passed.  But on the day of Tori's birth, I took some time to reflect.  What was I doing at this time last year?, I kept asking myself, even in the days that followed her birth.  It was only then that I could truly appreciate how FAR my baby has come. From 11 weeks premature weighing 3.1 lbs, that whole summer in the NICU, the constant worry of her getting sick and landing back in the hospital, the special monitors and equipment that became a part of our life, and the constant questions of "Will she be normal?" that no one could really answer.....when I think back on all that, I am amazed.  That we all made it thru those very hard first months, but mostly that her little miraculous body has grown and developed to nothing short of normal.  She's reaching for the stars, and I know she will be able to do anything.

This is Tori's first day of life.  It is hard to imagine her ever being that small- I remember at first I wasn't even allowed to really hold her; the nurses would lay her on a pillow on my lap.  Now she is so heavy it's hard to carry her around as much as she wants me to!

If only someone could have come down to me in these first few days and shown me a snapshot of Tori on her first birthday.  I may not have believed them.  When Tori was so small and every ounce she gained was a struggle, I thought she would never get bigger.  I couldn't see past her small frail body, even as she grew a little bigger each day.

I remember looking at this very dress saying, "She'll never fit into that.  And if she does it won't be at 12 months"  Well, this is Tori, dancing with her Daddy and wearing that very dress weeks before her 1st birthday.

Tori in her isolette- her separation from me was agonizing, but necessary to her survival.  It's frightening to realize that if Tori had been born without the medical care they are capable of now, she would not be here today.  But it is also important for me to reflect on that, because it reminds me what a little miracle she is and how lucky I am to have her as my daughter.